How Does a Polyamorous Relationship Work?

Polyamory, a term which entered the Oxford English Dictionary seven years ago describes the practice of having simultaneous intimate relationships with more than one person at a time, notably with the knowledge and consent of all partners. Unlike “swinging,” the intimacy isn’t merely temporary or recreational, but a full-blown romantic and sexual relationship. (Polygamy, which is much better known, is a kind of polyamorous relationships involving more than one spouse.)

Needless to say, while the practice has become comparatively more common — an estimated 500,000 such relationships are said to exist in the US alone — it can be very difficult wrap one’s head around it. After all,  isn’t sexual and relational exclusivity the cornerstone for deep, committed, long-term and truly loving relationships? How does one get around the jealousy and possessiveness  that seem intrinsic to intimate relationships?

Well, aside from trying to do more research yourselves — including seeking out polyamorous people  to engage with — the BBC offers a very good inside look at a polyamorous relationship involving four people. Unfortunately, I don’t have time to comment on it or explore the topic further, but it did certainly raise a lot of interesting reflection on the nation of human relationships, love, sex, boundaries, and the like. It’s important to note that just as with “conventional” romantic pairings, no two polyamorous relationships are alike.

It’s even more vital not to generalize or caricature what most of us immediately assume to be a degenerate or “lesser” kind of love. As with everything — especially interpersonal relationships — it’s a lot more complicated.

Please share your own thoughts, comments, or experiences. I’m hardly an expert on the subject and have only recently begun to explore it academically-speaking.