This was the last blog post of Jessica Redfield, a young reporter who was sharing her thoughts about coming close to death at a mall shooting just a few weeks before she would die at the recent gun massacre in Colorado. It’s unsettling that the following reflections would be her last mark on the web:
I was shown how fragile life was on Saturday. I saw the terror on bystanders’ faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we don’t know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath. For one man, it was in the middle of a busy food court on a Saturday evening.
I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift. After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given.
I feel like I am overreacting about what I experienced. But I can’t help but be thankful for whatever caused me to make the choices that I made that day. My mind keeps replaying what I saw over in my head. I hope the victims make a full recovery. I wish I could shake this odd feeling from my chest. The feeling that’s reminding me how blessed I am. The same feeling that made me leave the Eaton Center. The feeling that may have potentially saved my life.
I think I’m all the more perturbed by this consider that I, too, right those sorts of reflections about life, death, and the fragility of our existence. I guess seeing someone with similar observations die so suddenly makes me realize that even being consciously aware of life’s delicateness will do little to save you.
You can find her Twitter account here, where she posted what would be her chilling last words: “movie doesn’t start for 20 minutes.” She had no idea what was to come. How could she? As her post stated, no one ever really knows. Even as I right this very post, I may die from some freak accident or random act of violence. Who knows what post of mine will be my last?
These arbitrary and senseless killings are disturbing enough, but they’re made even more disquieting in an age where people leave their imprints online, and communicate instantaneously throughout the day, often giving you a very last glimpse into their thoughts and actions before they die.